• calum: hitting every red light kissin at th-
  • me: chill


megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

(Source: teshima--junta)



moriarty-walks-free:

brigwife:

things you can do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • get married (with parental permission)
  • start a family
  • join the army where they use guns and bombs and shit
  • move out

things you can’t do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • buy a pair of scissors

are you serious



milgramexperiment:

tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS

(Source: internetqueers)



chocolatemew:

i-effed-it-all-up:

songs by florence and the machine make me feel like i need to run barefoot through a misty forest wearing a flower crown

and reveal my true demon form as i burn the forest and everything in it down